Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize