I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So much rum. So many feels.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
