I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
