So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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