I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
