Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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