I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
