so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
