Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
BRING THE BAGELS
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
All I want is dick and wine.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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