hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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