i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
