If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
