I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
