You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You ruined the universe
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize