So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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