I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
