I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
this boner is exhausting
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
so much tequila, so little girl.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
