mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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