oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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