I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
