ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
