So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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