I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
