We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
