Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
