i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
