Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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