weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
