my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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