can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
