Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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