I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
