I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
