Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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