I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize