new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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