Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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