Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
