Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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