You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
