I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
