O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize