sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So much rum. So many feels.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
