if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
