so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
