i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
