I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I could fuck to npr.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize