I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
