I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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