Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
