So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
