I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
