fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
