Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
