I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
