my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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