I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
