I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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