He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
