I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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