Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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