remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
