But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
